The complex realities of relationships are reflected in the complexity of modern relationships, especially marriages. Even though loyalty and love are still basic, many couples have to deal with gray areas, especially when it comes to infidelity. Once overt betrayals, emotional and physical infidelity now arises from and exposes deeper patterns in the partnership.
Surprisingly, when treated honestly and reflectively, these experiences can sometimes result in growth and clarity. Sybil Sheidel, Relationship Manager, Gleeden, India explains why relationships today are not as black and white as they seem.
Why does emotional and physical intimacy exist?
Emotional or physical infidelity is often caused by unfulfilled desires, unresolved problems, or personal difficulties rather than malice. By understanding these underlying causes, it is possible to demystify behavior and promote therapeutic communication.
When someone feels invisible or unheard in a relationship, emotional infidelity usually results. Partners may drift apart emotionally as a result of life stresses, including everyday routines, motherhood and professional commitments. An outside connection can feel like a lifeline during these times. Rediscovering the sense of approval, excitement, or intimacy that they believe is lacking is more important than changing their relationship. For example, when spouses feel underappreciated at home, they may turn to a coworker who always appreciates their work.
Physical infidelity is often the result of a reduced need for novelty, passion, or physical connection in a long-term relationship. Rarely is it motivated by love or a desire to harm the other person. Instead it may be an attempt to regain passion, spontaneity or even a sense of self-worth. For example, when a partner is feeling insecure about himself or herself he or she may seek an affair by using physical contact to feel desirable once again. Others may act to cope with their changing identity during major life changes, including midlife transitions or job failure.
How does infidelity lead to clarity?
Infidelity can be a turning point, despite how much pain it causes. Couples who face these issues often discover things about themselves and their relationship. A couple is forced to consider the state of their relationship after an affair. What was absent? Was there a lack of respect, love or communication? Couples can recognize these differences and resolve them in a positive manner. The importance of emotional intelligence comes to the fore when emotional needs are not met in a relationship. Do we really listen to each other? This is a question that partners learn to ask. Do we make room for insecurity? This insight has the power to transform both personal growth and love relationships.
To move toward a shared future, both partners must face their weaknesses and admit their mistakes. Even though it may be difficult, infidelity doesn’t mean the relationship is over. Viewed through the lens of growth and understanding, it can help couples see what they really need from each other and from themselves. Today’s relationships are not as clear-cut as they first appeared, and this is an opportunity rather than a weakness. Couples can face their realities, grow as a partnership, and, in many circumstances, create an even greater bond by embracing the gray.
