Given Bollywood romance, where intensity, jealousy and emotional turmoil are wrong for passion. How many times have we “if you love me, I will say as you say, I will say” lines? Or saw the heroes staring at the heroes until they at the end?
These stories shape our idea of ​​our love, but in fact, love is not about control or emotional drama; It is about respect, faith and development. Urvashi Mushle, child and adolescent behavior specialist and founder of propress.
Psychology of Love: Security vs. fear
A healthy relationship is built on a safe attachment; A word psychologists use to describe relationships where both partners feel emotionally safe. A safe love feels like home, where you can be yourself without fear of decision. This is the kind of love where it does not turn into the dangers of quitting disagreement, where you are not constantly guessing yourself another, and where you feel supported in your personal development.
On the other hand, toxic relationships stems from unsafe attachment, where love feels more like a test. There is always an underlying concern, “Will they leave me if I don’t do what they want?” Or “Why do I feel so guilty all the time?” The toxic love is so unexpected, swinging between extreme height and painful climb. One day, you are their whole world; Next, they make you feel like you are a burden.
When love controls you
Say that you are in a relationship where your partner constantly examines your phone, questions you about male/female colleagues, and for a crime to spend time with your friends. If you protested, they will say, “I only do it because I love you. Don’t you love me?” And over time, you will stop meeting friends, leave your hobbies, and feel stuck; But you keep telling yourself that it was “normal”.
It is toxic love, disguised as care, but lies in control. You should not shrink yourself to keep love happy.
How to break free from toxic love
One of the most difficult things about being in a toxic relationship is that it does not always feel toxic first. The manipulation can be subtle, starting with a small agreement that eventually loses you yourself. If you feel constantly worried, guilty or isolated in a relationship, then take one step back and ask:
- Do I think I can express myself without fear in this relationship?
- Do I feel supported by my partner in my personal development?
- Are I constantly justifying their bad behavior?
If any of these answers are “not”, it may be time to rethink the relationship. Getting support from friends, family, or even a physician can help you see things more clearly. Mental health awareness is now increasing in India, in which relations with organizations such as ICALL and Snehi (Snehi) offer confidential helpline for people struggling with crisis.
Love should fix, not hurt
Love should not feel like a fight. It does not leave you questioning your ability or you feel that you are never enough. A loving relationship is where you feel safe, seen and valuable; Not controlled, criticism or drought.
