Neha Bhasin opens up about her battle with PMDD: I faced body shaming when I gained weight because of medication

Recently, Neha took to Instagram to reveal her personal health battle with premenstrual dysphoric disorder (PMDD) and obsessive-compulsive personality disorder for the first time. She was diagnosed with fibromyalgia two years ago.

“After knowing for years that something was wrong. Finally today comes the diagnosis with more medical awareness (on paper for 2 years, I’ve known since I was 20) which helps get the right treatment for the mental and hormonal ailments and with all this comes a great realisation and then the acceptance that at least for now my nervous system feels broken,” she wrote, adding, “My monthly PMDD still finds a way to throw me into an old dark hole or dig many new ones. Is this my failure? My OCPD asks.. my doctor calls it fibromyalgia which I’m now finally accepting.”

on her diagnosis

In an interview with Hindustan Times, Neha spoke about her battle, and sensitively showed the wounds she suffered during her fight.

Neha told us, “I have been struggling with this for a very long time. It was a huge thing for me to accept it. All these years, I thought maybe I’m lazy or I’m just tired. Once you accept it, you stop giving yourself excuses.”

For her, self-acceptance was the biggest hurdle as she is always looking for perfection, and even accepting that “I am not okay” is difficult for her.

“And that is what I had to grapple with music. The biggest challenge was to accept that there is something I have to deal with and fix,” added the singer, known for giving hits like Kut Kut Bajra, Nai Jaana, Jatti Meri, Aslam-E-Ishqam, Jag Ghumeya and Dhunki.

On dealing with the disorder

The singer revealed that she was 22 when she first found out about the disease. For her, the symptoms include bloating, loss of appetite, fatigue, losing interest in activities, having intrusive and self-deprecating thoughts, and deeply rooted negative emotions.

Neha said, “I knew something was wrong early on. I am 41 today. But I always ignored it because there were no real studies on it. In 2017, when I was holidaying in London with my husband, I had a very bad accident… I remember having a lot of body pain, lumps and unstable moods. On that trip, I realised I definitely needed help. I met a doctor and started on this path.”

She adds, “I thought it would all come to an end, and I asked myself what went wrong. I first realised this in 2017.”

Now to talk openly

Now opening up about her health battle, she says, “The reason I’m talking about it is because… when I was battling this, I didn’t have anyone to turn to for inspiration. If I knew someone, it would have helped me. I wouldn’t have felt as alone in this journey as I did.”

She wants more people to talk about it so people know something like this exists and needs attention.

“I’m not expecting sympathy from people. I have so much love in my life. I’m surrounded by the best people in my life and the best support. I don’t need sympathy. But I think this is something we really need to talk about,” Neha stressed.

On being body-shaming

Neha is often trolled for her weight fluctuations, and at times, she is even trolled for her outfits.

The singer says, “For the last one year, I have been body shamed in public because I am on medication. I have faced it bravely. I will not cover my body just because the world thinks it should not be like that.”

“I’ve been suffering from body shaming for almost two decades, but the last two years have been a little more severe… I was on hormones and antidepressants, which made me gain weight over the last six or seven months,” says Neha.

Now, she’s become more “accepting” of her body. “I’m more accepting of when I’m not feeling well or don’t feel like exercising. I’m definitely having a healthier relationship with food. Am I happy with where I am? No, I’m not… but I’m hoping it gets better soon,” she concludes.