New Delhi:
The luxurious life and divorce of Bollywood couples have been going on together for many years. The year 2024 was no exception. Except for one word that is included in the Indian dictionary: gray divorce. Something that India has learned from music composer AR Rahman and his wife Saira Banu.
What is gray divorce?
Gray divorce refers to couples who separate in their late forties or early fifties after living together for years or decades in a marriage. This usually happens when couples are more settled, their careers are taking off, and their children have already left home.
The gray divorce buzz gained momentum in November, when composer-singer AR Rahman and his wife Saira Banu called it quits after spending nearly three decades together.
AR Rahman, who is known for his musical talent, has hardly made headlines for his personal life all these years. His lesser-known wife Saira Banu has made public appearances with her husband at a few award shows and functions, but the social media pictures are nothing like real life.
AR Rahman and Saira Banu announced their divorce through a joint statement.
It reads, “Despite their deep love for each other, the couple have found that stress and difficulties have created a gulf between them that neither party feels able to bridge at this time.”
It said, “Mrs. Saira and her husband Mr. AR Rahman request privacy and understanding from the public during this challenging time, as they go through this difficult chapter of their lives.”
Hours after the news of their separation broke, AR Rahman wrote on his X handle that he was finding “meaning” in this “breakup”.
“We had hoped to reach the grand thirty, but it seems that all things have an invisible end. Even the throne of God can tremble under the weight of broken hearts. Yet, in this scattered “We find meaning, even if broken into pieces, they will never find a place again. Thank you, our friends, for your kindness and respecting our privacy as we go through this delicate chapter.”
“We had hoped to reach the Grand Thirty, but it seems that all things have an unseen end. Even the throne of God can tremble under the weight of broken hearts. Yet, in this scattering we find meaning, even if the pieces can never find their place again. To our friends, thank you for this…
– Arrahman (@arrahman) 19 November 2024
AR Rahman and Saira Banu are not alone
Over the past few years, Bollywood couples like Sohail Khan-Seema Sajdeh, Aamir Khan-Kiran Rao, Malaika Arora-Arbaaz Khan, Hrithik Roshan-Suzanne Khan prioritized their mental well-being and happiness over societal norms and expectations. They’ve all gone through a ‘grey divorce’, which meant the dissolution of identities that were as much private as public.
Three years ago, Aamir Khan and Kiran Rao ended their marriage amicably. The couple had a sweet reunion and had the best time during Aamir’s daughter Ira Khan’s wedding to Nupur Shikhare earlier this year.
Aamir’s ex-wife and Ira’s mother Reena Dutta was a part of the celebration. Happy pictures of a modern blended family went viral on social media.
Later, Kiran Rao talked about his equation with Reena Dutta and other members of Aamir Khan’s family.
“It’s very natural for us as a people to be inclusive,” Kiran said in an interview with The Week.
“We also live in the same housing society. My mother-in-law lives on the upper floor, Reena lives next door and Nuzhat (Aamir’s cousin) also lives nearby. This is because we are really close as human beings. We like each other. I hang out with Reena and Nuzhat independently too.
“My sisters-in-law live upstairs and I love them. These are relationships you shouldn’t lose when you get a divorce. Aamir and I didn’t have an acrimonious divorce; we may have grown apart as a couple. It may have happened, but we are a very nice, very big family”, she added.
psychological reasons
There are many psychological reasons that lead a couple to gray divorce.
Relationship counselor Ruchi Ruh told NDTV, “The main reason behind gray divorce is the rise of individualism. Couples in their late 40s or early 50s are trying to rediscover who they are. “Search for your identity beyond your existing identity.” Having lived with their peers or parents over the years, they may have some suppressed desires or aspirations which they are now trying to fulfil.”
Ruchi Ruh also argued that there is increasing awareness and acceptance of “loneliness” in the urban social fabric, thereby breaking down the stigma surrounding divorce and gray divorce.
“This older generation, Gen What we have been taught is actually falling apart,” says Ruchi.
With the passage of time and the increasing influence of social media, elderly couples do not hesitate to seek happiness even when the clock strikes midlife.
co-parent still person
Hrithik Roshan and Sussanne Khan separated in 2014 after being married for 14 years. They continue to co-parent sons Rehaan and Hridan. The couple always makes sure that they are present at important moments of their sons.
Earlier this year, Hrithik Roshan and Sussanne attended the graduation ceremony of their son Hrehaan Roshan. Sussanne shared an inside video of the ceremony and wrote, “No one knows where we will go… But I must say I am on my way.. ‘Congratulations my son.’
To keep an eye:
Seema Sajdeh had to face a lot of difficulties after her divorce from Sohail Khan, which also affected her friendship with her BFF Maheep Kapoor.
In an episode of the Netflix reality series fabulous life vs bollywood wives, The fashion designer explained how her decision to end her 24-year marriage affected her interpersonal relationships with her sons, friends and others. The couple was also seen together on the birthday of their son Yohan a few months ago.
Seema Sajdeh and Sohail Khan in an old picture
Seema and Sohail Khan have sons Nirvaan and Yohan and Arbaaz is now married to Shashura Khan.
gray divorce in 2024
In 2024, Esha Deol shocked fans by announcing her divorce from husband Bharat Takhtani in February.
The statement read, “We have decided to mutually and amicably separate. Through this change in our lives, the well-being and well-being of our two children is our top priority. We request that during this Our privacy should be respected.”
Esha Deol and Bharat Takhtani at their wedding
in November, company Actress Isha Koppikar spoke about her divorce for the first time in an interview with Bombay Times.
“I can’t really explain what went wrong… We kind of drifted apart. He said, it was his decision, it’s not working. And I said, ‘Okay, fine’. Then, we separated. Only mature people can take such decisions…It was easy for me not to divorce her, but it would be against my values, we separated amicably.”
Isha and her husband Timmy Narang have a 10-year-old daughter. Timmy confirmed his divorce after reports circulated online in January.
Does celebrity gray divorce affect the choices of common people?
Ruchi Ruh says celebrity gray divorces influence common people’s preferences because they have “certain aspirational values” attached to them.
“I would like to share an anecdote here. When Yash Chopra continuation After its release, conversations about extramarital affairs reached its peak and people were having extramarital affairs. The conversation normalized things in a way. Similarly, celebrity gray divorce impacts the choices of common people,” shares Ruchi.
Gray Divorce also emphasizes the change in divorce stories where women lose their identity and financial independence.
Ruchi adds, “Celebrities like Sussanne Khan and Malaika Arora are living beautiful lives after their divorce and they encourage women to come out of their forced relationships.”
Celebrity or non-celebrity, no couple wants a broken home, especially after spending decades together. But gray divorce, a growing social phenomenon in India, reiterates the importance of love, compassion and the pursuit of happiness, which cannot be dictated by societal rules and conditions at all times.
Gray divorce is not desired but it allows a person to seek agencies that exceed their happiness.
