Remember Roger Michell’s 1999 cult romantic comedy Notting Hill? Julia Roberts’ famous actress Anna Scott falls in love with Hugh Grant’s bookstore owner William Thacker. She even goes to his house, asks him if she can stay at his house and invites him to her hotel. Even at the end, when William professes his love at a press conference with Anna on stage, his confession is met with “ahhhs” and congratulatory camera flashes. He is portrayed as a lucky man who falls in love with an actress simply because she has shown interest in him. Have you ever wondered if things would have been the same, especially today, if Hugh had played a celebrity and Julia, a girl next door, an ordinary girl?
(Also read – The Idea of You movie review: Anne Hathaway, Nicholas Galitzine’s romantic comedy is more functional than pretentious)
In all likelihood, had Julia done the same in that case, she would have soon been labelled a ‘gold-digger’. Or perhaps desperate for the limelight. You don’t have to look very far for another example. In Sofia Coppola’s Priscilla last year, a 13-year-old girl marries the 24-year-old rock n roll sensation, Elvis Presley, simply because he shows interest in her. He brings her home after convincing her parents he would never sleep with her because he ‘isn’t ready yet’, and doesn’t let her leave his house. Even though we see the prying eyes of the media only when Priscilla finally steps out of her house, one can feel how many attacks she must have faced due to Elvis’ many rumoured affairs. Priscilla had to choose what was worse – the gaslighting and claustrophobia of her home or the ruthless scrutiny of the media outside.
a young man’s thoughts
This dynamic gets even more complicated when the woman is older. For example, in Michael Showalter’s recent romantic comedy The Idea of You (streaming on Prime Video), Anne Hathaway’s 40-year-old Solenn is a single mother who has separated from her husband, who is now living with another, younger woman. She hasn’t really recovered from that blow — in a touching scene, she confesses her guilt to her husband about how forgiving she was when he found out about the affair, but ultimately left her. Solenn is closed off to the idea of love — until she warms up to the idea of dating a 28-year-old popstar. Idea The film is charming and rewarding, but its execution isn’t all that good.
Hayes Campbell (Nicholas Galitzine) is everything he is not: young, famous, and a man. But like Anna in Notting Hill, Hayes is seeking normality: he is attracted to a woman who is not impressed by him, doesn’t care about his music, and belongs to the world of art galleries – from which he is far removed, but is naturally curious about him. Dating becomes a challenge – since they can’t go out due to his popularity, they have to be content with making sandwiches at her house. They don’t mind their dirty little secret until it comes out in the open. When Solenn begins to overcome her personal fears – abandonment, culture shock, repeating what she has already suffered – the rest of the world intervenes and passes judgement, making her recoiling fears even greater.
Solenn tries to develop a thick skin, and so does her daughter from her first marriage. They shut out the noise by deactivating social media and staying away from it. But when her daughter reveals she is going through a tough time at school, as her classmates bully her about her ‘cougar’ mother, the noises around penetrate their bubble. Solenn has no choice but to retreat from love. After overcoming obstacles like fear of abandonment, ageism, and a drastic lifestyle change – she succumbs to what probably every mother does at some point – mom guilt. In the end, we see Solenn and Hayes reunite after five years when her daughter goes off to college, but this invited criticism from Robinne Lee (author of the book the film is adapted from), who said, “I wanted to show how, as women, we put the happiness of others before our own.”
it’s not just a family affair
This is also the case in Richard LaGravenese’s recent romantic comedy A Family Affair (streaming on Netflix), in which Nicole Kidman’s writer Brooke Harwood falls in love with her daughter’s boss, Zac Efron’s actor Chris Cole. Once again, Brooke is not a fan of Chris – or of movies in general – as she is busy with her writing ambitions and running her household as a single mother. Unlike in The Idea of You, she is not divorced, but a widow – which comes with a whole new set of challenges. To make matters worse, Chris is famous. But as the title suggests, news of the romance never leaks outside the family. Joey’s celebrity manager, Zara, represents the big bad world outside
However, unlike the trolls, Joey doesn’t judge her mother. She’s more scared for her because she knows Chris well – how dating women and dumping them is part of his lifestyle. For actors, if there’s anything more fleeting than their fame, it’s their relationships. Zara keeps waving the red flag, but Brooke goes ahead with their romance anyway. When her daughter finally manages to give Chris a hard time, Brooke admits defeat. She ends the relationship because, once again, her daughter doesn’t want them to be together. But she does express her disappointment. When Zara tells her, “You don’t know Chris,” Brooke replies, “It’s like I don’t know you either.”
It’s interesting that Brooke’s main cheerleader is not her daughter or her boyfriend, but her mother-in-law (Kathy Bates). Although her husband is dead, she maintains a healthy and intimate relationship with her mother-in-law, who was also her editor. Kathy’s character tells Brooke to get back to work, give love another chance and ignore her daughter’s disapproval – simply because she sees Brooke not as a selfish mother, a cougar, a former writer or a gold digger (hey, she has a villa by the sea) – but as a middle-aged woman who is capable and deserving of much. Only if the rest of the world can rise above its prejudices and see such women in the same light.
