‘Unfrosted’ movie review: Jerry Seinfeld’s satire on Pop-Tarts is pure cold and no crust

Melissa McCarthy as Donna Stankowski, Jerry Seinfeld as Bob Cabana and Jim Gaffigan as Edsel Kellogg III in ‘Unfrosted: The Pop-Tart Story’ Photo Credit: Netflix

It’s as if 70-year-old Jerry Seinfeld wanted to remind us of the long-standing subgenre of the satirical children’s movie in his directorial debut, but somewhere during the writing, he decided to have some silly fun. of netflix un frostedA strange satire on the non-movie-worthy creation of Pop-Tarts, the silliest and most uninspired movie of the year. Initially, about everything on the surface un frosted It feels like something from an early 2000s movie, with details blown out of proportion to the point of making it appealing to a 13-year-old. But that image quickly falls apart when you see how beneath every other joke there is a suggestive layer.

Set in a fictional grain neighborhood in Battle Creek, Michigan in 1963, un frosted It takes place in an America where what goes into the stomachs of its children is more important than the nuclear threat; POTUS himself declares the “Comey Breakfast” a priority over a Russian ship carrying a nuclear missile. The ideas coined around this setting tend to be as wacky as one could imagine: the In Memoriam section of Bowl & Spoon (the Oscars of the breakfast world) pays homage to Wilt Chamberlain’s and Grandma’s Holes. There is also a funeral in which the breakfast cereal mascots pour cornflakes and milk on the coffin as a tribute, with the Rice Krispies mascots playing the Snap, Crackle and Pop bagpipes.

Seinfeld extended himself to play with such ideas by writing the story as a story told to a curious child. It makes one wonder what bizarre version of history he hides behind all this, if it is a child-driven version. I mean, this is a movie in which a horny John F. Kennedy has a naughty rendezvous with the Doublemint Twins and a movie that also turns a blind eye to Sea Monkeys founder Harold von Braunhut’s neo-Nazi past .

Even the plot at the center is a very fictional twist on the history of Pop-Tarts, about how Kellogg’s discovers a revolutionary pastry before its rival cereal maker Post launches its brand new reheatable fruit pastry. Edsel Kellogg III (Jim Gaffigan) assigns this mission to Cabana, NASA scientist Donna Stankowski (Melissa McCarthy) and their misfit think tank consisting of Braunhut (Thomas Lennon), fitness coach Jack LaLanne (James Marsden), softie founder Tom Carvel ( Adrian). Martinez), bicycle-modeling enthusiast Steve Schwinn (Jack McBrayer), and Chef Boyardee (Bobby Moynihan), who is the epitome of a pasta brand. Meanwhile, Post, headed by ‘Madame Cereal’ Marjorie Post (Amy Schumer), is forced to find ways to retaliate when Cabana and Stankowski buy up all the sugar supplies from Puerto Rican sugar mogul El Sucre.

The absurdity of it all – there’s even a sea-monkey-pasta creature and a mascots strike featuring Tony the Tiger (Hugh Grant) – leaves you with your eyes wide open. But Seinfeld’s strategy only works until you realize it’s just quantity masquerading as quality. Around the half-time mark when Peter Dinklage shows up as an unhappy milk syndicate leader, you’re left wishing these brief cameos with blah one-liners would stop for a bit and we get something more solid on the Kelloggs vs. Post front. Unfortunately, the rest of the film feels like a good joke repeated over and over again to make it bearable.

Jerry Seinfeld as Bob Cabana, Adrian Martinez as Tom Carvel, Jack McBrayer as Steve Schwinn, Thomas Lennon as Harold Von Braunhut, Bobby Moynihan as Chef Boyardee and Jack LaLanne as ‘Unfrosted’ James Marsden Photo Credit: John P. Johnson/Netflix

Seinfeld’s observational comedy is limited to brief sketches of these quirky secondary characters. Some attempts at slapstick also disappoint, and the film doesn’t compensate for its silly comedy writing with good storytelling. At least Cabana’s team could have had something funny to say besides their incidental contribution to Kellogg’s mission or their silly antics.

un frosted Impeccable production values, pristine special effects, over 20 cameos by the stars, ample nods to controversy, several memorable moments, and yet, nothing is enough on paper to make them perfect. At one point, Cabana and Edsel make a meta-comment about how adding frosting to their Pop-Tarts is a bad idea. Quite ironic for a movie that felt like a big piece of some sweet concoction.

Unfrosted is currently streaming on Netflix