When most couples decide to get married their goal is to have a dream wedding, a fairytale wedding. Weddings bring endless planning, fun, celebrations, shopping and parties for both the couple and their families. The entire family contributes to making the wedding a success, ensuring that the food is perfect, the gifts are ideal and each guest is taken care of. But what no one thinks about is how to prepare the young couple for their marriage and the life ahead!
Dr. Mona Gujral, Chief Psychologist, COTO, shares her insights on why premarital couples counseling is important.
You ask how? The actual wedding is only the celebratory part of the ceremony, but the wedding begins after all the guests have left, the festivities are over and the couple is alone with each other. With new responsibilities, bills to be paid, and life with new in-laws, reality sets in and couples often realize that no one really prepared them for this.
It can be overwhelming when you have to adjust to your partner’s family, be careful about finances, get comfortable living together and manage each other’s personalities and eccentricities. All these things make marriage difficult and couples often start feeling pressure, which if not addressed properly can weaken their bond.
This is one of the many reasons I recommend couples therapy before marriage to my clients. It helps couples transition from being single to being married. It is believed that the first year after marriage is the hardest, and I believe that if a couple is able to establish a strong foundation in the first year, the rest of their life will be a smooth, safe and fulfilling journey. .
As a psychologist, I encourage couples to view therapy as an investment in their future. It is an opportunity for them to understand and appreciate each other’s perspectives, develop strategies to handle family and social pressures, and strengthen emotional and psychological well-being. Platforms like Koto can really help couples take the first steps toward counseling by recognizing the unique challenges young couples face during this transition phase.
Some areas where premarital couples therapy can help are:
1. Preparing for family reunification: Marriages are never just between two individuals, it involves the unification of two families. This sudden burden of expectations, conforming to the discipline of the new household, relationship with in-laws can be really tiring and in some cases suffocating for couples. Therapy can help couples deal with these dynamics with empathy and understanding. It gives them the knowledge of how to connect with everyone while maintaining their boundaries and individuality.
2. Strengthening Emotional Intimacy: The biggest reason for divorce is the lack of emotional connection between husband and wife. When a person starts feeling neglected and ignored. Therapy allows couples to reconnect on a deeper level, find more reasons to bond, and nurture their relationship.
3. Healthy Communication Habits: There is no marriage where there are no fights. But the key to a successful relationship is to talk to your partner about it in a way that is not negative with the intention of resolving the issue at hand. Therapy provides a neutral space to constructively discuss feelings, expectations, and concerns.
4. Building Conflict Resolution Skills: Fights will always be a part of married life, because no two people are alike. Therefore, it is important to understand that your partner is different from you and his thinking will also be different from yours. Therapy enables couples to understand this difference, and gives them strategies to deal with disagreements that arise.
5. Addressing Cultural Sensitivity: For couples from different backgrounds, therapy can help them understand cultural differences and establish mutual respect for customs, rituals, and dietary habits. It teaches them to embrace their partner’s individuality and also to create a life that is equal for both of them.
Remember, a grand wedding is just the beginning; A strong marriage is built on mutual respect, trust and communication. By seeking therapy before tying the knot, you are setting the stage for a fulfilling and lasting partnership.
