“I only use guns in video games,” says our frustrated hero Brian, who is trying to assemble a machine gun while his impatient partner urges him to hurry up. “It’s confusing in real life!”
This is the sharpest comment “resident Evil,” A movie born from a video game that’s just trying to be a movie. But it breaks the tension, it cuts through the sticky mess for a moment – and most importantly, it makes us laugh.
Seldom is it more evident than in Zack Krieger’s hugely entertaining survival-horror, zombie-infection tale that humor is a vital asset of a horror film, and luckily Abrams is up to the task. Charming but not charming, gruff but charming, and fundamentally genuine and kind, his Brian is the perfect Everyman – a medical courier who somehow ends up as one of the only humans in a world of looming tentacle monsters.
There will be a lot of people watching this movie who are fans of sports, and there will be Easter eggs to please them. The good news for all the other movie lovers out there is that we’re none the wiser.
Krieger has certainly chosen his star wisely. As Brian, Abrams narrates most of the film – mainly because most of the people around him are, well, not quite human anymore.
We first meet Brian on a cold night as his shift with an organ delivery is coming to an end. But then he’s offered another job that night – at double the pay – and says OK, even if it’s in snowy mountain terrain, and there’s no chain on his car or shoes.
Soon he’s headed to Raccoon City and his cell signal disappears, making it difficult to talk to his girlfriend Michelle, who has recently received some life-changing news. In any case, suddenly a dead body collides with his car.
This is one of several well-executed jumpy moments – I know I either screamed at this one, or the next one.
Brian now gets out of his car to follow some footprints in the snow, never the best idea. He finds a woman, bloodied and disfigured, completely disfigured, but somehow he believes she is quite normal. We won’t reveal how her place in the overall plot plays out, but it’s great how Brian sees each increasingly frightening scenario as a small obstacle in an otherwise manageable night.
He soon finds himself without a car, walking down a cold road with a terrified dog to a yard, then to a barn, then to a farmhouse. The environment changes every 10 minutes, each with new challenges. Just like… a video game?
In one sequence, Brian finds a young girl shivering in an old RV, begging for help. He wants to help but realizes that he too has been infected by the nefarious virus that is turning the townspeople into shivering hordes. Ultimately he had to shoot him in the face. “It’s not real,” he explains. “I like kids!”
A couple in a car comes to pick up Brian, but their time together does not go well. At least it gets Brian closer to where he’s been aiming all along. And he finds out what he’s carrying in that organ case.
And then things really hit the fan. Brian runs down the street, dodging the infected people, who are landing with large splashes from above. Krieger has talked about a scene in which Abrams came close to being killed by a heavy bag filled with fake blood and intestines. Just doing the math here: That’s probably it. There is applause at this scene.
An elevator shaft. A science laboratory. A warren of sewers. Cragger gets new levels – er, scenarios – to pursue. Most painful: the really messy maternity ward.
However, the attack becomes a bit tiring and hard to impress us. It’s Abrams who mostly keeps things moving with his almost-but-not-quite-overwhelming, ‘I’ll-get-through-this-right?’ stick.
It’s a minor moment, but I liked those few clever moments when we see our hungry courier unloading a snack: milk from the carton, and a handful of Life cereal nuggets from the box.
Amidst the deadly devastation, a small sprinkle of life.
The Sony Pictures release “Resident Evil” is rated R by the Motion Picture Association “for strong bloody violence, gore and language throughout.” Running time: 90 minutes. Two and a half stars out of four.
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